What is a friend...

I am saddened by the sudden death of a dear man and someone I considered my friend. At the same time, I am disappointed at the loss of a potentially good friendship with another person. As I thought about these two people I began to wonder what constitutes a friendship. How do you define "friend" and how does a friendship define you?

There is a little joke in our house when my husband says of someone "Oh, he's a friend of mine" and I ask "why haven't I met him? did he send you a birthday card? Christmas card? and when is he coming to dinner?" To which he replies "well, he lives in Greece and he's not actually a friend, just someone I correspond with"....

The word "friend" has become an attachment to describe anyone we have contact with even if we have never met them or haven't seen them in many years. We have e-mail friends, Facebook friends, blogger friends, friends of the family, friends from school, friends from church, old friends, new friends, best friends, fair weather friends, forever friends.

But what is a friend?  Often someone will forward an email that tries to define what a friend is or isn't. "Someone who will laugh with you, cry with you, and always be there for you." Or this one: "A friend will bail you out of jail but a real friend will be in the jail cell with you saying "wasn't that a blast ?!?!!?"  The authoritative Webster's dictionary broadly defines the word as:

1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : acquaintance

2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group

3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)

4 : a favored companion

Reading this list there is hardly anything personal involved! Which probably indicates that how you define "friend" IS, in fact, personal and  based on your own standards.

So I look to the Bible as the standard of all standards. And as usual, the "bunny trail" begins....

My first stop was Proverbs 18:24 which says "....But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." This got me thinking about my relationship with my own brothers. I have two older brothers who are like night and day. One is kind and caring, the other is arrogant and self-centered.  One has hated me since the day I was born, and one was and still  is "my big brother."

As I continued my hop along the Bible bunny trail searching  references to "friend" and "friendship" I had to stop and ponder at 2 Chronicles 20:7 and Isaiah 41:8 where God calls Abraham His friend forever.

Wow! Imagine how awesome that is! To be a friend of God!!!  So let's compare God's standard of friendship to that of our own friends. Can you imagine having a friend that is forever? that will always keep a promise? that will never let you down? that will be the same yesterday, today and tomorrow? that will never hurt you? that will never lie to you? that will never leave you or forsake you? Can you imagine being a friend with those same standards?

And then I looked at  Proverbs 17:17.... "A friend loves at all times..." and to John 15:13 ..."Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."

I wondered how many of my "friends" would die for me!  How many of my "friends" would I die for? Perhaps with this in mind, we should choose our friends more carefully, be less flippant about the word "friend" or, more importantly, treat our friends with the same standards God uses to choose who He calls His forever friend!